3 posts tagged “love”

On Tuesday morning of last week, I got a call. A bad call. To date, the worst call of my life. Glenn called to tell me his father had passed away in his sleep.

What? No answers, just gone. K, that ain't right.

It doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel real, it feels numb. Even now, after seeing him off with grace and dignity, he's not gone to me. He's in my mind so clearly, sitting beside me, telling me stories about his adventures, teaching me about rocks and minerals....holding our children. How can Grandpa Glenn be gone when I can still smell him and hear him?

I can feel his love and support still, his words echo in my ears: Welcome to the family. That was 14 years ago and I can still feel that bear hug! He's still with me and always will be. I still think in the same terms: Wow, that was spicy! Your Dad will love this!....and I cry.

Beautiful man, smart, funny, compassionate, kind, firm, dedicated, loyal, diligent, faithful...they don't make him like that, and I mean they never did. He was a unique person, and I do not exaggerate. No one has ever been on this earth, in his way, so purely selfless. So often misunderstood, but brilliance usually is. I see him in his boys, strong men, loving men, totally frustrating men they are so independent. Grandpa Glenn always took the high road, was always honest and never had anything to ever be ashamed of, he lived so wholesomely. People missed that about him because he was so intensely private, they rarely were there when he stopped to help someone on the side of the road, or jumped in his boat to race to a car that had gone off a bridge and into the water, intent on helping (turns out they were filming a TV show :) )but he and his boy, MY boy were going to help no matter the personal cost!

He was always thinking of others, and especially his children. They were the center of all he did. Many years ago, he was approached by the property master filming a movie, Grandpa Glenn had just purchased some surplus equipment and the man inquired if they could use some, or all, of it for a couple scenes, offering payment. Sure, he said: But I won't charge you if my kids get to be on set. So, when Peter Venkman, Egon Spengler and Ray Stantz are thrown out of the University and their office is being cleaned out...yea, that was Dad's equipment. And his kids were there.

I once told him I needed to get an alternator for Glenn's car...and I was hoping to buy a rebuilt as money was tight back then. I told him I would be heading down to the parts store at 7:30 the next morning. At 7:00 am there was  knock on the door and this greasy hand came shooting at me gripping an alternator. Here, he said, I think it's the right mounts for a chevy. I had to dig through a box of 5 but I think this is it. And, I'll be damned, it was. He watched me fix it (not one to intefere unless asked), and we drove it around the block.  You see, it turns out that Geologists are great to have around, the good ones don't trust anyone else to repair their equipment and so they stock the most wonderful things!  I believe I earned his respect when we were at a junk yard and I found him a 5 ton hydrologic jack and bell housing. I dragged the jack over, he stood there with this grin on his face, watching me, and I said: I think you can use this. He smiled like a kid who had just seen the world largest gumdrop and said: I think I sure can!

I am really gonna miss him.

Ok, so I am late. Been...busy/depressed/enjoying somethings and deciding which drug I should start ingesting. But, I do this for Bill so here goes:

Summarize your life in a six word memoir, with optional photo illustration. Then tag six others.

If I were to seriously do this I would pick these six:

Woman, love, hope, heal, empathy, give

No sentence structure. Sorry.

Now let me 'splain.

Woman: All those wonderful and terrible things that go along with it. Wife, daughter, friend, Mother. Strength to endure and compassion to nurture.

Love: Unconditionally the best movtivator. Love rules all and cures all woes. Some may argue more has been done in the name of religion. But isn't that another type of love? Love of God? Moving on.

Hope: I have dared to hope for myself and for others. It has taught me perseverance and to not be complacent with it. To work to achieve that which you hope for the most. And, I have found that all I have hope for has become mine.

Heal: Accept the tragedies and continue to live your life with grace and dignity. Do not let despair consume you, heal the emotional wounds and the physical scars will bear witness to your triumph.

Empathy: Remember the emotions of others. Do your best to not cause them harm. Feel how it would feel to be there, at that time, and support those who need it. Do not expect it in return. It will build you into a fine human being.

Give: Replace everything you think you need to make you happy with the things that make others happy. It will return to you. Give to receive. It will show the character of a man, in his ability to be selfless. And by He I mean humankind. All men and women.

I am not naive, I am hopeful. I am hopeful that this world is worthy of the lives I give to it. My children will have an unknown impact on an unknown number of men and women. I must prepare them for that. I must give them the tools to live worthy of the legacy of their forefathers.

And to keep off the grass.

I hate to blog like this, with sad news, but everyone needs to open their heart and have their voice heard when they are sad. I am no different. I am saddened by the loss of a dear man, a very loving man with a wonderful family. 

Erik and Glenn

I first met Bob and Lilo, and their boys, almost 18 years ago.  A wonderful family who always opened their home to us. Lilo would cook us Bratwurst, but never ate any herself. I always found this to be amazingly kind and I was grateful.

Their oldest boy Per I met only occasionally, he had a Military career, much like his father, but his included a Docorate of Medicine, so he was a very busy man. Their youngest, Erik, I met almost every month for years. A big strong man who was always happiest when doing things for others. Whether it was cutting their lawn or cooking their food, he was always giving to others whenever I saw him. But now, I cry. Erik is gone.

He died yesterday while at work and we found out today. I can not imagine how his parents are right now. I can only wish to be there and to help them and to console them but I am not there. They are without that boy that they formed so much of their lives around, what emptiness. Words are not mine today other than those. And these, I will borrow:

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death” - Robert Fulghum

Good Bye darling boy, I will miss you.